Fresh Meat: Top 5 Zombie Movies for People Who Hate Zombie Movies

Zombies just aren’t my thing. I am a horror nut. I love the blood. I love the guts. But the undead brain eaters? Meh.

Before you fans of The Walking Dead look away in complete disgust, I am not dismissing the zombie. Zombies are a significant piece of horror culture, one of the first pieces that made people examine mindlessly following trends and consumer culture. It’s just that, to me, zombies are…..well, boring. After you’ve seen some of the greats, a lot of them pale in comparison or are just a rehashing of the same old thing. There was a brief revival of interest for many with the release of 28 Days Later. To me, that one really discovered the heart of what made zombies so scary – humanity was completely stripped away, and the hopelessness that prevailed was what made the story compelling. Plus, it ushered in the era of the FAST zombie, which I remember blowing me away at the time. But, then the same old feeling set in, and I still tend to shy away from zombie movies.

If you’re in the same boat as me, or you’re a zombie fan looking for something a little bit different, check out these five unique zombie movies.

Dead Snow / Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead

I’ve included these together because they really are a continuing story. Plus, they are F-U-N! In the first, a group of students heads to a cabin in the snow covered woods, only to discover a box of treasures hidden in the cellar. When they open it, it calls to the bodies of the Nazis who hid them there 60 years before, and, BAM, you’ve got your Nazi zombies. The first one was a great blend of gore, horror comedy, and a few genuinely creepy moments, such as one memorable scene where a girl is buried in a snow bank and can hear the crunching of the snow as something shifts toward her. The sequel is even more bonkers, with more blood, more humour, an undead arm, an unfortunate zombie who is constantly ripped apart, and Martin Starr playing an American zombie hunter. What more could you possibly want?! Fair warning – if you shy away from gore, do not proceed. The trailer alone is pretty brutal.

Quarantine

An American remake of the Spanish film REC, this one is surprisingly underrated to me. It is a one-two punch of zombie movie combined with found footage. The fact that the film takes place in a darkened apartment building on lockdown makes it even more claustrophobic; this is one that will keep you on the edge of your seat. A reporter is assigned to follow a local fire department, and while on a call to check on an elderly occupant of an apartment, an officer is bitten and all hell breaks loose. While I believe that the original movie is better, I loved Jennifer Carpenter’s performance as the reporter in the remake. She added so much intensity to an already intense film. Check this one out before bed at your own risk – adrenaline will be pumping!

All Cheerleaders Die

I struggled a little with including this one, as it doesn’t include the traditional zombie rules, but rather cheerleaders raised from the dead by witchcraft. However, in the end they definitely qualify as zombies, needing to perpetually consume flesh to maintain their hotness. What appears from the trailer to be nothing but a tale of sexy cheerleaders getting it on actually has a pretty surprisingly heartfelt backstory that feels real and makes you root for them. This movie has a lot of fun with itself, but has a lot to say about a girl standing up for herself when she feels like no one else will. Highly entertaining, cleverly written, and overall way better than I was expecting.

The Children

Psychopathic children are creepy enough. Children driven to bloodthirstiness by the spread of a virus that only effects youngsters? Ick. This one is surprisingly scary, as the children devolve into mindless killing machines during a long weekend getaway. What makes the premise so creepy is the fact that not all of the parents are willing to accept the fact that their precious little angels are now cold-blooded killing machines, making them easy pickings for these not-so-darling little darlings. Check this one out for a twist on the upcoming Mom and Dad, in which the parents go berserk on the kids.

Black Sheep

This hilarious black comedy is set in New Zealand, where a man is confronted by a herd of genetically modified sheep who have turned carnivorous. If this sounds ridiculous, that’s because it is. That doesn’t mean you won’t laugh your ass off! Perfect if you march to the bleat of your own drum. Okay, okay… sorry. Couldn’t help myself!

Enjoy! Let me know what other topics you would like to see for Top 5 Fridays!

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